Bengals at Ravens. I agree with Matt. Bengals win in a close game. No Ray Rice, but Bernard Pierce plays well in his place. Giovanni Bernard does his best young Ray Rice impersonation and explodes for a big game. Jeremy Hill joins in to add some thunder to Bernard's lightning. Oh, and Geno Atkins is back and ready to feast. Bengals win, 28-24.
Saints vs. Falcons. Falcons squeak out a win in this one. The Saints are a good team. A very good team. However, the Falcons are a very underrated team due to injuries last year, and right now, they are healthy. Falcons 35, Saints 28.
Vikings vs. Rams. The battle of the backup QBs 1.0. Vikings running game is better than the Rams, and the Vikings have Norv Turner and Cordarrelle Patterson. Vikings 21, Rams 14.
Browns vs. Steelers. Is this even a game? Cleveland still doesn't know if they'll put Johnny Manziel in at some point, and the Browns have no wide receivers. Pittsburgh 35, Cleveland 14.
Jaguars vs. Eagles. This game is going to be closer than people expect. Yes, Jacksonville is going to be hurting without Cecil Shorts. However, they have upgraded their defense as well. I have Philly winning, 24-17.
Raiders vs. Jets. And the NFL retirement/free agent matchup begins. What does the Jets name stand for? Just end the season. When was the last time the Raiders were relevant? When Rich Gannon was their QB. However, I expect the Raiders to turn some heads today. Their free agent acquisitions are better than the Jets' free agent acquisitions. Raiders 27, Jets 12. In a surprise turn of events, Michael Vick gets bitten by a pit bull after the game.
Bills vs. Bears. Upset special. Everyone expects the Bears to win this game. Heck, Kyle Orton probably even expects that! But the Bills are a team stacked with young talent, and Chicago's defense still has some major question marks. Bills 24, Bears 21.
Redskins vs. Texans. Way too much uncertainty on both of these rosters. This is probably going to look like a preseason game, but one team has to win. And do we call them the Washington Redskins or the Washington Racists? Too much uncertainty and boredom here. Who's the #1 QB in Houston? Does RGIII want to play football? Will Jay Gruden continue to gain weight this season? Will Arian Foster rescue some cats after the game? Will Andre Johnson retire at halftime? Redskins 9, Texans 2...since I have no clue how to call this game.
Titans vs. Chiefs. The Titans have some good young talent on the offensive side of the ball, and the Chiefs have a solid defense. Chiefs offensive line has some holes. Jamaal Charles can't carry this whole offense with Dwayne Bowe suspended. Titans 21, Chiefs 18.
Patriots vs. Dolphins. Tom Brady is Tom Brady and will play like Tom Brady against the Miami Dolphins. Did I mention Tom Brady? Patriots beat Dolphins. 35-27.
Panthers vs. Bucs. Derek Anderson might be starting for the Panthers. That isn't funny. Bucs 35, Panthers 14. At least one TD comes on a Derek Anderson pick-6 or offensive turnover. If Cam Newton plays, then Panthers 28, Bucs 21.
49ers vs. Cowboys. The Dallas Cowboys have no defense. The 49ers defense is decimated by injuries and suspensions. Still, 49ers 42, Cowboys 35.
Broncos vs. Colts. Peyton Manning and the Broncos may have a down year this year. However, don't expect that to start against Peyton's old team, the Colts. Peyton comes to play, and this turns into a shootout. Broncos 38, Colts 35.
Giants vs. Lions. The Giants are a wreck. If you've watched the preseason at all, you know this. Lions look good. Ndamakung Suh rips out Eli Manning's heart and does a happy dappy dance on it. Detroit wins, 24-7.
Cardinals vs. Chargers. The Cardinals will be a better team this year. However, the Chargers are the better team in this matchup. Sure, Antonio Gates might not play this week, but they've got LaDarius Green. Chargers win on a Carson Palmer pick-6. Chargers 21, Cardinals 17.