Bucs @ Browns. The Bucs are almost as bad as they were in the when the Gay Blade was slathered across their helmets. The Browns actually don't suck this year. Cleveland wins at home, 24-12.
Cardinals @ Cowboys. Tony Romo's robot replacement starts this game, proving once again that that man is not merely human. However, that robot will never start in the playoffs unfortunately, dooming Dallas to another disappointing end to the season. That doesn't matter this week, but the Cowboys still lose, 21-14.
Eagles @ Texans. This is going to be a close game, but I think the Texans can pull it off. The Eagles offense is coming together, but JJ Watt scores another defensive touchdown this week, and Houston wins, 35-28.
Jets @ Chiefs. Michael Vick gets tetanus from a rabid dog, Geno Smith starts the game but tears his ACL, and Rex Ryan comes in at QB, losing like every Jets QB this year. The Chiefs win, 41-2. They take a pity-safety to end the game.
Jaguars at Bengals. Too many injuries for Cincinnati, and the Bengals either barely win or lose this game. But it is the Jaguars, so I'll pick the Bengals to win. Final score, 24-23, Bengals come from behind to win.
Chargers @ Dolphins. THis is actually going to be a really good game, maybe the best game of the week. Chargers are looking great and Miami is getting better. Chargers win 21-20, since the Chargers are a better team in general.
Washington Aboriginal Peoples @ Minnesota Viqueens. No Adrian Peterson? No problem! The Washington Indigenous 53 are without their only offensive weapon in Colt McCoy, as RGIII starts, and loses this game! Jay Gruden faces his old buddy Mike Zimmer, and Zimmer knows all of his schemes. Jay Gruden eats a donut, and Zimmer beats him. Viqueens win, 253-0. Defense scores 200 points on turnovers.
Rams @ 49ers. I'm picking the Rams again! They didn't disappoint me against the Seachickens, and they won't disappoint me this week! Rams win! Rudi Johnson comes out of retirement to start at RB! FInal score, Rams 30, 49ers 27.
Oakland @ Seattle. Oakland wins in surprising form as Carr tears up the surprisingly shaky Seattle defense in Seattle. FInal score, Oakland 28, Seattle 24.
Broncos @ Patriots. This is the game of the week. The best regular season QB in NFL history (Manning) faces the best postseason QB in NFL history in Brady. THis is the regular season though, and Peyton wins. If they meet in the playoffs, New England will win. Final score, Broncos 49, Patriots 43.
Ravens @ Steelers. Two high powered offenses at times, two formerly great defenses. I smell a shootout! The Ravens will score at least 30 points, but Big Ben will come out angry and dominate again. Final score, Steelers 42, Ravens 35.
Colts @ Giants. The almost-Manning ball! Boring as hell game but the Colts win it, 45-6. Tom Coughlin looks tired on the sideline.